Big Asteroid in the Corner Planet...

On Friday, April 13 2029, the asteroid Apophis will pass close enough to Earth to tuck inside the orbit of our communication satellites.

To get an idea of just how close this is, consider that on a standard size globe, our satellites would be 3/8" from the globe surface, and our atmosphere would be about the width of the varnish on the outside of the globe.


That is to say, it will be VERY close!

Worse yet, IF Apophis passes through a small, 1/2 mile Square area known as the "Gravitational Keyhole" in 2029, it will be guaranteed to hit the Earth on it's return trip on April 13, 2036, smacking down somwhere in the Pacific Ocean. 

Apophis is big!  It would sit inside the Rose Bowl in Anaheim like an egg in a cup, if we could convince it to touch down lightly.  Deviled Eggs for 70,000 in Anaheim!

Originally named "2004 MN" when scientists first discovered it in December 2004,  the name was changed  to something slightly more sinister, befitting it's potential disastrous impact on future USC football games (along with the human race and several thousand other species) when observations indicated there was a 2.7% probability that it would strike the Earth in 2029.

In Egyptian mythology, Apep, or Apophis in Greek,  was an Evil God, the deification of Darkness and Chaos. Yes, that sounds about right.

Darkness and Chaos was the exact result when a similarly sized asteroid hit the Yucatan Peninsula at Chicxulub  around sixty-five million years ago, wiping out the dinosaurs and making it possible for mammals to flourish.

Considering it was an close encounter with an asteroid that eventually led to the evolution of Homo sapiens, it would be somewhat fitting if another asteroid cleared out the most recent dominant species and made room for a new wave of evolution to bring forth species unimagined today.

What does this harbinger of impending doom look like?  Here it is ..

It's one of these little white dots. Doesn't look so scary from a few million miles away, does it?


 Here's a diagram which clearly shows a bunch of circles and dots that represent Certain Death cruising through da' hood.

This is no doubt very revealing to some scientist somewhere, but it's nowhere near as scary as this

 When Carl Sagan wrote contact, I don't think this is what he had in mind!

I myself am rooting for it to pass through the keyhole in '29, so long as it misses us in 2036.  Perhaps with the threat of annihilation of the entire human race, the nations of the world would lay down their petty squabbles and religious bickering and work together to save all humanity.

But I doubt it.

From the looks of things lately, we humans aren't likely to realize we're all passengers on the same world in a very harsh universe unless an extra-terrestrial threat forces enemies to become friends.

So I'm rooting for the asteroid!



What will we do???  Only one thing TO DO...   CALL BRUCE!!!

He can bring his drilling crew, an astrophysicist, and a couple of nukes...

And lets' not foget his smokin' hot daughter...

I knbow most every gorl wants a big rock someday, but c'mon....

 Heads Up indeed. Heads up our asses is more like it.

I hope we do get it together and dispose of this giant space dirt clod, so we can all get back to killing our planet ourselves.

Asteroid?  We don't need no stinking asteroid!